Sitting around the vertically-challenged-folks table at the Yawning Portal bar & grill, a motley assortment of halflings and dwarves discuss the city’s warnings of a potential upcoming quarantine. Several unsavoury types enter, and are teaming up against a half-orc they have some quarrel with. We begin assisting to improve her odds back to a fair fight, when a large troll covered in nether-bats emerges from the gaping central portal, looking mighty upset.

The Barkeeper leaps over his bar, branding a very shiny blade, and calls for assistance dealing with the bats. Teal draws a rapier and proceeds to elegantly run up the troll to stab be crushed under a vicious troll blow. Limping away feebly, a pair of netherbats (seeking blood) dive bomb him, but are too distracted by his ‘bling to find purchase. Vaulting the bar, Teal finds the highest-proof bottle of grog, and hurls it directly at the troll’s face the table they started the night at, bursting into flames. Undiscouraged, he grabs the lantern oil, and this time it - lights up the floor closer to the troll. A third volley merely spreads the damage further. But eventually the troll is overcomb by our numbers, and we rise victorious.

While cleaning up the damages, we’re approached by a Mr. Volo, who is eager to locate a wealthy drinking buddy of his, Floon Blagmaar, who seemed to have not come home a few nights back. On the way to his last seen location, an odd shop catches our eyes, filled with purple… antiquities of various forms and functions - the proprietor seemed quite pleased with his collection, but was light on many of the details.

I put down the gold dragons, and plop the tentapickle into my mouth

After purchasing some violet gloves and an auberguine tankard, we enquired about our prey, and heard someone was jumped by some thugs with similar tattoos to those the half-orc quarrelled with. She was able to identify the tattoos as the Zhentarim Cartel, and we entered a warehouse bearing their mark - and a lot of bodies. After a very lengthy series of duels with the remnants, we found a captive noble’s son, who explained that he was kidnapped alongside Floon. The Xanathar Collective were responsible for the second ‘napping, and thought Floon the more valuable target, relocating him elsewhere in their QUEST FOR THE STONE OF GOLARRR

– Teal Steel,
Semi-Pro Documancer

-> Session 2: Sewer Slime Slog

Cast

• B - Teal Steel, Fellow of the Order of the Unicorn
• N - Wilpher, a wimpy street urchin who communes with rats
• T - Milo Tealeaf, boy-wizard
• D - Drot, Kobald ranger

Guest Starring

• Xolobe, Master Purple Merchant