The first step to making pizza is engaging in the brutal form of combat called “Kneading Dough”. Many an aspiring gastronomer has been felled wrassling this savage beast.

Most orthodox doughs contain flour, water, yeast, and salt. The only tools required to process these ingredients are a flat, clean surface and some lubricated dukes.

The vile act of combining macerated wheat powder and aqueous humours is banned in over 12 states including California. As I write this treatise on pizza manufacturing, the state agents are scouring my demesne for signs of manual pizza fabrication.

The time of dukes is nigh. Raise your flour’d fist to the face of the farine orb. Apply force until the composition of your wheat-child is consistently gelatinous and rebellious.

At this point the pizza pie is practically in your mouth, simply your heat-box of choice, after applying all relevant and available nutriments. Consume before entropy sets in.

「Megadeth」